The day after Christmas, December 26th, is National Candy Cane day and for good reason. Chances are after the holiday you’ve got an abundance of these minty treats lying around.

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There’s a lot of history behind the humble Candy Cane. They originally were just white peppermint sticks and the red stripes came courtesy of Sweden in the mid ‘1900s. As for the “hook” in the cane – here are different theories regarding this curve. Some believe that a monk fashioned them to look like Shepherd’s sticks, while others say the little hook is supposed to represent a “J” for Jesus.

Now I love me a good peppermint stick, but because the candy industry is always cooking up crazier and crazier ideas to take up more shelf space, and money from your wallet, they’re constantly thinking up of new ways to capitalize on iconic recipes by messing with an original formula.

What ends up happening is you get a bunch of candy cane flavors that should’ve never existed. I’m not really a culinary traditionalist by any means, I like relish and mustard on my burgers for crying out loud, and when it comes to Junk Food, I actually think that French Toast Crunch is better than Cinnamon Toast Crunch (I admittedly love them both).

That’s not to say all the flavors are abominable aberrations, but the following are just plain nasty.

 

1. Birthday Cake.

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Save it for the kids party.

 

2. Pumpkin Pie.

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Pumpkin Spice mania is nothing new, but it just doesn’t cut it here.

 

3. Chocolate Mint.

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Even if you happen to like the combination of mint and chocolate (gross), these really don’t do a good job of representing that flavor profile…at all.

 

4. Cinnabon.

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These heart-attack rolls might taste delicious, but their candy cane counterparts don’t.

 

5. Bacon.

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I know there’s an internet movement to baconize everything, but pork fat and peppermint candy just don’t go together. Eggs and cheese? Yes. Candy canes? No. I don’t care what you say.

 

6. Coffee.

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You pop a candy cane in your mouth after you drink coffee, not during!

 

7. Wasabi.

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I don’t know what’s more alarming, the fact that these exist or that people actually took some of these out of the pack.

 

8. Gravy.

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Great, just pair this nastiness up with the mashed potato-flavored candy canes and you’re good to go.

 

9. Pickle.

I love pickles, but get these away from me. Right away. Now. Stop.

 

10. Rotisserie Chicken.

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No, it’s not on Boston Market’s dessert menu, in case you were wondering. Blargh.

 

11. Coal.

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These almost don’t count because they’re nasty on purpose and meant for people who were bad, but that still doesn’t change the fact that someone took the ashy flavor of coal and put it in a candy. Disgusting.

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