It’s National Hard Candy day, so by all means celebrate them by picking up a wonderful assortment of deliciously suckable treats. I’d suggest getting those guava hard candies you can pick up from most Asian supermarkets.
Or how about those awesome tins of assorted fruit flavored hard candies, you know the ones that are have light coats of soft powdered sugar on them? So, so amazing, God I love me some Cavendish & Harvey.
Unfortunately though, there are a lot of hard candies out there that just really, really suck. Sure you might eat it, but that’s moreso out of boredom and because there really aren’t any other candies around. Now that doesn’t mean you have to enjoy these nasty bits of hardened sugar, just that you have no self control and need to shove something in that gullet of yours. Here are some of the worst hard-candies you’ll ever come across, especially during Christmas time.
1. Old-Fashioned Hard Candy Mix.
Does anyone actually eat these? Or do they stay in a bowl that grandma keeps on the coffee table and is passed down from generation to generation?
2. Ribbon candy.
While we’re at it, put these bad boys on there too. They might look awesome but they’re annoying to eat and taste like you probably think pesticide tastes like.
3. Christmas Tree Nougats.
Brachs is a purveyor of many nasty treats, and this Christmas confection is a pile of peppermint trash. Don’t ever put this in your mouth unless your tastebuds are masochists.
4. Transparent yellow-wrapper Butterscotches.
Pivoting away from the Christmas grossness, these specific types of candies taste like your mixed cough medicine with butter and then froze it.
All right calling these “hard” is a bit of a stretch, but it’s not like they’re gummies either. I don’t know who invented these chalky bits o’ nastiness, but they suck and are only good for putting in water to make a fake acid bath for your action figures.
6. Hard licorice.
Most people either love or hate black licorice, but hard candy licorice is irrefutably nasty. Getting that stank out of your nose takes all day.
7. Necco Wafers.
Get these pieces of garbage away from me.